May 8th. 2005
I know you know how sad I am these days. I just pray that you are at peace. I loved you SO much. I always wanted to be your dad first and friend second. I tried to keep a watchful eye on you while giving you the chance to discover the world thru your own eyes. I tried to temper discipline with love, anger with laughter.
I always figured that history was repeating itself and that you were acting JUST like I did during my teens and that you would come out a bit bruised, but wiser and certainly alive. You once wrote, “ I don’t know why I was put on this earth”.
Well as time goes on, I am going to figure that out. So far what I have learned is that you were here to teach me love and understanding. You taught me that every day is a gift. I know as time goes on you will teach me many more things. Chris, I will try my best to turn this pain into strength. I know you would be happy and pleased to see how much love in this world you have created. A few weeks ago you told us that you did not want to grow up. How was I to know that was literal and not figurative?
You will now forever be my little boy. I miss you SO much!
“When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.”
The PROPHET, by Kahlil Gibran